He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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