Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If I die, sorry about rent.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
