i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize