Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
