he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
