Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize