i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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