She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
