Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
