Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize