he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
