did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
