Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
