so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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