there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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