What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
