no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
