I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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