Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I am mentally ready for anal.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize