If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
