Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
