if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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