Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Randomize
