that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
