Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
