she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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