He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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