Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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