We're like a lot better than the average bears
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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