All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
