New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
