He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
