You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
