meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
