I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
