hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
