Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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