No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
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Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
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What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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