if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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