I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
