Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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