I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
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The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
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I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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