but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
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And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
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Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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