I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
