she woke up with a sticky ear
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
