Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize