You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
