Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize