I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
