I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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