How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
