I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
