im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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