D3 body, D1 cock
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
