I'm really into asian looking animals
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
