Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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