She said her name was "party"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize