You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
