Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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