Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
